numero uno: last night i was bitching to my father about work issues. sometimes we don't communicate the best, partially because we're so much alike and also because he's not a very openly emotional man. anyway, he had to get off the phone because we were beginning to butt heads in the conversation. this morning he called me while i was on my way to work. he told me that he just wanted to offer some words of encouragement for the day. he said it's not easy for him to listen to me when i'm upset about those things because all he wants to do is make an appointment with my boss and tell him to stop picking on his kid. he also made a comparison to the scene in christmas vacation when cousin ed kidnaps clark's boss on christmas eve. it brought a tear to my eye and a smile to my face. my dad is my favorite man on earth.
y dos: i have this child that looks like a hispanic version of the kid from mad magazine. freckles galore and perfectly round cheeks. so this child did not finish his work in class today and when i assigned him homework lunch (coming to my room to work) he was pissed. he was even more angry when i called another of his teachers and had them send him down to me right before lunch. mad mag boy pitched a fit and started walking away from me. "naaah miss, i'm not going." despite his anger, he ended up making it into my room. we sat and worked on his assignment together. this child has VERY limited english (e.g. did not know the english word for "slide" or "swing" when describing a park) and struggles in my class because of the one-on-one instruction he really needs. this chance to tutor him was a blessing to me and i really worked to show him that i valued his effort. by the end of lunch, he was smiling and actually asked me if he could come back tomorrow during lunch to work. i told him that anytime - before school, after school, during lunch- i would be more than happy to help him. he said he'd come in tomorrow after school as well.
i know that this baby most likely will not maintain that willingness to forfeit his free time for the sake of tutoring. however, the fact that in that one moment he felt encouraged enough to make that statement makes me feel like i did something worthwhile.
so i'm now a union member. having grown up in a republican household in west texas, it wasn't really something i had foreseen in my future. sadly, i've found myself in a position that requires i have some protection.
you see, our admin team (the principals) is not what one might call ideal. there have been blaring inconsistencies in discipline for children and this has caused a great strain between the faculty and the admin. for example, a child made a shank in class (a homemade knife for those of you not in the know when it comes to prison-speak) and that child was given half a day of in school suspension. half of a day sitting in a room. for making a deadly weapon. in class. in a school that had a stabbing in february of this year. two weeks ago there was an incident that is even worse (a child was intentionally cut with scissors on the eyebrow by another student) and as far as i can find out, nothing was done about it. it's like teaching in oz. you can see how this might create some hostility.
part of the issue is that two of our assistant principals are new. and by that i mean it's their first year as admin. personally, i would have picked some tenured individuals to come into a school like mine - academically low-performing for three years with major discipline issues. however, our head principal picked them for his own reasons. and that's where the real concern lies.
our head principal is new to my school this year as well. at the beginning of the year he told us about an article in the austin chronicle that addressed issues he'd had at his previous school. to sum it up very simply, the article said he was a total jerk and that half of his staff resigned or got transfers because he ran the school like a tyrant. of course, we all gave him the benefit of the doubt after reading that and it is appearing that that might have been a mistake.
he spent the first month of school making everyone in the front office cry. he regularly emerges from his office screaming at the top of his lungs at our secretaries. they've all lined up other jobs already. he has harrassed teachers to whom he has granted leave and one that was sick with pneumonia.
what appears to have been the final straw, however, is something that he wrote on an observation form for me. he and a superintendent did a "walkthrough" in my classroom, meaning they came in for about 5 minutes to briefly observe how i was doing. they were there at the beginning of class and so my students were finishing up their "warm-up" vocabulary activity. they were using context clues and inferential skills to determine the meanings of words like "countenance" and "tirade." these are not words that are even remotely close to being in my student's vocabulary. it was challenging for them and i had to give most of them assistance.
unfortunately, when i picked up my observation form that afternoon, my principal had written "today's idiot sheet was not rigorous. a total waste of time." i was stunned and had to read it several times to make sure that he had actually written something so unprofessional. needless to say, it was infuriating to me and it ended up being the first day i cried at school. i spoke to our union reps and they suggested i would need protection now that i'm on his bad list.
word spreads fast in a school and by the end of the day i had a lot of coworkers stop by my room to tell me what a good job i've been doing and that i'm completely supported by them. their kind words helped to offset all of the doubt that my principal had created. as a newer teacher, i constantly question the job i'm doing even though i'm working harder than i ever have in my life. it feels really good to have teachers with 9 or more years of experience telling you that you're one of the best new teachers they've seen at my school.
all this time i thought the most difficult part of my job would be dealing with the children. it never occurred to me that the adults might be this challenging.
i really want to go home and see my family. i had planned on carpooling with a friend this weekend and had been looking forward to this weekend for weeks. the plan was to gorge myself on my mother's cooking, cheer my brother(s) on in football and thoroughly enjoy a couple of cool(er) nights. well, my friend backed out on me today. because i am a procrastinator and spend my weekends working, i have not taken my car in to get it checked out (it's pulsating when i brake). i had not planned on driving because the prospect of my car breaking down in BFE west texas did not sound appealing. all of the flights to lubbock are sold out now. i just want to see my family and i have no ride home. this makes me cry like a small child. i know the fact that i worked a 12 hour day, have a headache from hades and am celebrating my womanly times also contributes to my tears. but it sucks and i'm sad and i just want to hug my favorite people in the world.
i am so proud of my baby brother for so many reasons right now.
my brother goes to lubbock high, the same school that my sister and i attended. we always had our fair share of ghetto growing up thanks to the make up of the school. it's the kind of place where you know if you have a system and no alarm, it will get stolen. even if you do have an alarm, someone's probably still going to at least try to jack your stuff. my brother, of course, has (had) a kick ass system. today, it was stolen. he was parked in the front row of a school parking lot on a MAJOR street next to an empty handicapped spot and it was still stolen mid-morning. the campus cop was a doofus (e.g. told my brother that the shady character he sees hanging around the parking lot is a drug dealer, and drug dealers don't steal) but told my brother to keep his ears open. thankfully, my brother is down with the right crowd, if you know what i mean. by 8:30 tonight, he knew who took his system, where they live and what their basic criminal record was. he was also running a sting operation, having one of his friends try to buy it off the guy. he's also been in contact with his girlfriend's father, the police officer. what a little bad ass.
even more than that, my mom told me that the football coaches told my brother, my brotha* and one of their friends that they are the moral leaders for their team. that makes my heart warm. my brother and brotha are doing great academically and behaviorally while working their butts off on the field. WHAT GOOD KIDS!
*my brotha is my new honorary sibling. my brother's friend, d'vonic, moved in with my parents in august. he'd lived with his grandmother since the age of 3 and sadly she passed away this june. both of his parents are alive and well, but they simply do not want to care for him. he was already like a family member to my parents, so they readily offered to take him in. he is one of the sweetest, most polite, hard working, good natured, respectful, intelligent and talented children to grace this planet. i'm so proud to call him family now.
when my children refuse to do their classwork, i have them fill out a form telling me why. most of the time they choose to do their work instead. however, today after taking a practice TAKS test for the second day, some oƒ my children were particularly determined not to do a damned thing. one little baby, who i'm working my absolute hardest to see Jesus in, handed me back the form and on it was written "my barn can't function after the test." for a split second i was confused but then i realized his intent. i read it back to him and he was confused. that sweet little child of God did not know how to spell brain. i just had to smile and walk away.
tonight i read messages that my children from my fomer school had sent me on my teacher myspace. they are seniors now, but some of them still write to let me know how they are. one remembered the last day of school when i read oh the places you'll go to them outside. it made me cry. i miss those kids these days, but i have to remember that at this point in the year in 2005, we had plenty of struggles of our own..
