cup-sized joy

my roommates and i learned an interesting lesson this weekend: very few people will take food from strangers, even when that food is birthday cupcakes. it's possible that they were more apprehensive than normal just because we were on northgate. that or we look really shady. afterall, people do tend to think that kevin is a pothead.

either way, it was incredibly entertaining watching kevin try to pawn cupcakes off on unsuspecting men.

highlights of the evening:
*erin and jenny's spectacular ring dunking performances
*a guy pulling a knife on kevin
*another guy trying to fight him
*making friends-for-the-night with kids from ut

single and content

I stopped waiting for Mr. Right to come along, and started to live as though I planned to stay single forever. For the first time I understood that I was a free woman, that I could live as I chose, be whoever I wanted to become. I hadn't stopped liking men: I had just stopped needing to have one of my very own in order to feel complete.


i don't dislike being single. sure, from time to time i miss having a boyfriend, but it's not something i dwell on. it took me years to realize, but the sinlge life is a gift from God. it's time i get to spend working out my kinks....which there are a ton of.

besides that, i really don't see what's so awful about being alone. i like me, and that's a good thing considering i'm stuck with myself forever. i have a wonderful life with amazing people in it. i don't have to wait for a man to be the source of my happiness. no more living my life in anticipation of that one event, i just focus on making it the best i can. if at some point a man fits into that plan, then so be it.

the possibility of living my entire life as a single woman becomes less and less scary every day.

when it comes to school....

i'm ADD. so i've started planning two things.

1. camping trip to utah over spring break. it's only about 1300 miles from college station. i just really need to be outside for a whole week, drinking nature in. the family may go with me, but i'm up for anyone else who'd be down.

2. in january my parents will have been married 30 years. they're the most incredible example of love, friendship, dignity and compromise i've ever seen. they deserve the best, so we're trying to give it to them in party form.

i've got it and i'm happy. thanks sam.

buses and such things

so i climb on the bus to make the journey back to mainland from west campus this morning. as usual it's completely full and there are probably 20 guys standing in the center aisle. i conveniently slide into place at the front.

guy behind me: 'there's a seat open back here.'
me: 'no thanks, i'm ok. you take it.' at this point i really didn't see the point in me wading through 10 guys to get to a seat one them could just as easily have taken.

first stop.
guy: 'you can sit down. there's a seat back here.'
me: 'thanks, but i'm really fine. you go ahead.'

second stop.
guy: 'you wanna sit down?'
me: 'nope, i want to stand. but thanks.'

i totally appreciate the gesture. completely. but i just don't see the logic in my deserving a seat over a male. i'm just as capable of standing as he is. besides that, is it not ok for him to sit down even after i've refused the seat....twice. at what point does chivalry just become silly?

if you were the guy in this situation, what would you have done?

i'm a member and you should be too

“People try to separate everyone into different corners,” said FFL president Serrin Foster. “But Feminists for Life is both a feminist organization and a pro-life organization—and very consciously nonpartisan. We continue the tradition of more than two hundred years of pro-life feminism, because women deserve better than abortion. We affirm the basic tenets of feminism: nonviolence, nondiscrimination and justice for all. Abortion violates all three.”

Like Susan B. Anthony, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, and other early American feminists who opposed abortion, Feminists for Life works to systematically eliminate the coercive factors that drive women to abortion by facilitating practical solutions.

Feminists for Life was founded in 1972 by Cathy Callahan and Pat Goltz—two women who thought that abortion advocates were hijacking the women's movement. Pat Goltz was later ejected from a NOW meeting in Ohio for distributing pro-life literature. Patricia Heaton has served as Honorary Chair since 1999, her first official role with the organization.

FFL is a nonsectarian, nonpartisan, grassroots organization dedicated to empowering women through progressive, nonviolent choices for themselves and their children. Feminists for Life welcomes all members and supporters regardless of political or religious affiliation. Information about FFL's founding and nonpartisan nature is readily available on its website (www.feministsforlife.org) and in numerous printed materials.

(courtesy of FFL)

barbies

i stood at the front door, barbie living room furniture set in hand, waiting for the door to open. immediately an eager group of smiling faces greeted me. jamyra hung back, at least until i called to her and wished her a happy birthday. she's so beautifully fragile, it makes me want to cry when i look at her.

her brothers and sister gathered around as she read the card and opened her gift. they could hardly wait to let her pull the toys out of the box. i watched them explore every tiny piece. everything was 'awesome' or 'so pretty'.

then i felt terrible. 'mom gets paid on friday, so that's when we're celebrating our birthday'. (jamyra has a twin brother, jamal.) i, the snotty, self-righteous college kid, upstaged their incredibly hard working mother. the woman who is raising four kids, going to nursing school and will be at work until one this morning. she signed all of her children up for big brothers big sisters to make sure that they all get enough attention. it's not at all her fault that she couldn't buy toys for the kids today.

what's worse is the fact that all those kids really would've wanted was my company. jamyra's sister took a pair of scissors and mutilated the box the toy set came in. i know she did it largely for attention, but the aggression she showed was really upsetting. i've seen the same thing in one of my little cousins who's had a very traumatic life. i just wanted to hug her and ask what she's so angry about. but that'll have to come later.

then there was jamyra's older brother. we talked while jamyra set everything up in her room. he told be about his behavior disorder, being sent to 'juvie' and hitting kids at school. there was so much frustration in his words and face. it just breaks my heart to see a child that young with such adult emotions. he's really a sweet kid, it's just that something is missing inside him.

when i left i had to give each of them a hug. even jamal, who was pretty silent during my visit, followed me to the door and asked for a kiss. it's funny how universal the need for physical contact is, especially amongst kids. all that most people really want is someone to give them a good hug and to listen to what they have to say. and i look forward to doing a lot more of that with these kids.

9/11

3 years. it's still heartbreaking. but why is it so painful? not because we, as americans, were attacked. not because the terrorists tried to disrupt our way of life. and definitely not because symbols of our nation's power were destroyed.

people deliberately took the lives of others. it doesn't matter that the dead were mostly american or killed on our soil. being american does not make us better than anyone else. in fact, it doesn't matter if the people in those towers or on those planes were good at all. such disrespect for the lives of others is simply unfathomable for me. the school hostage situation in russia, the suicide attacks in israel and the mass killings in sudan are just like the attacks of 9/11. they are a horrific examples of humanity at its worst.

the only hope of redemption we have is that we as individuals will act with love, God's love. a love that doesn't see nation or race.

bravo u.s.

Powell declares genocide in Sudan

"We concluded that genocide has been committed in Darfur and that the government of Sudan and the Janjaweed bear responsibility and genocide may still be occurring," Mr Powell said.
Mr Powell's conclusion is based on evidence collected by state department investigators, who interviewed more than 1,800 refugees.

Their testimonies, Mr Powell said, showed a pattern of violence which was co-ordinated, not random.

Three quarters of them said the Sudanese military had been involved in the violence, working with the Janjaweed.
The Sudanese foreign affairs

the cheap way out

lists:
things i don't like today
~people talking on their phones on the bus to school
~lovebugs on/in my car
~my extremely negative boss
~friends like chad being far away

things i do like today
~james being 24
~the beautiful weather
~having the same people in most of my classes
~sarcasm
~knowing that in two days i will finish the GRE
~the fact that 12 billion old, cool kids will be in town this weekend

as per your request

15 papers (one of which is a major research paper), 10 exams, 3 group projects, 3 translations a week, a few quizzes interspersed, 1 lab and 20 hours of work per week. oh, and the GRE at least once. that's how my semester is adding up so far.

but you know what, i'm not gonna bitch about it or say i hate school. the way i see it, each paper, each test, each project brings me one step closer to my calling in life. this time next year i'll be doing what i've dreamed of for years. (as long as the state of texas allows funding for my job.) i have the opportunity to commit my life to the service and improvement of others. i get to tell kids that they're worth something, they aren't stupid and they control their path in life.

on top of all that, i get to partake in something experienced by only 1% of the world. it's easy for us to forget how incredibly lucky we are to be in college. forget grades all together. i get to learn and exercise my mind on a daily basis. all of this is helping me become a better person and member of society.

even more, i have a job that allows me to pay my bills, buy my food, put a roof over my head and put gas in my car.

too often we college students like to complain about being busy. as though being 18-23 gives us a right to be lazy. it's life and we should embrace it as a gift. all of it. so i thank God that i have something to do from the time i get up to the time i go to bed at night.