the land before time

or jurassic park. or that tv show from the late 80s/early 90s where the family was time warped into prehistoric times every episode. y'all know what i'm talking about. anyway, that's where i feel like i've been living because i have been battling massive bugs lately. kristen and i hike at greenbelt and they grow a particular breed of flies out there that could take your arm off if they breeze past you. my brother called them elephant flies and it was a pretty apt description. not only are they huge and constantly flying around my head and impeding my limited grace even further, but they also bite. i swear one bit me today and i thought i got stung by a bee. and yes, those suckers are immune to bug spray because i load up on that stuff like it's crack every day. a side note, it appears that i might be immune to poison ivy so i guess the score is martha - 1, nature - 1. i'm sure nature will easily surpass me next week when i go MIA in the mountains for 9 days.

but anway, back to the insects. i have also come to the conclusion that there is a very tricky and powerful spider ambushing me in my bed each night. a week ago i woke up with a bite on my hip that had not been there the night before. this week, i could clearly see fang marks on the bite. kristen laughed at me when i said that. i, on the other hand, do not think that vampirous night spiders are a laughing matter.