thank God it's fatal
for one reason or another i have been in hyper-analytical mode this week. a pretty broad spectrum of ideas has been occupying my thoughts, and while i will not share all of them (some level of privacy is good for me, yes?), i will discuss a few.
in the past 6 months or so, my maternal grandmother has changed significantly. i'd been very fortunate up until now that all four of my grandparents have been active, independent people. but grandma has been showing some signs of mental deterioration and they've been coming fast. she has a neurology appointment this month so we'll know more then. but anyway, it's been scary for a few reasons. 1. my drug-addicted uncle and his drug-addicted friend live with my grandparents. this makes me worry about grandma and grandpa's safety in that house more than ever. 2. half of my time at work is spent talking to or about the elderly. i've heard the horrible things that can happen to them, even with loving families supporting them, if they have some kind of mental breakdown. 3. i'm terrified that she will no longer be the tiny, sweet, loving woman that i know if, God forbid, she is showing signs of alzheimer's. 4. i don't want to see the same thing happen to my mother, or, and this is so selfish, myself. i just think it's such a horrible way to spend your final years. blah. isn't my eloquence amazing?
on a more random note, i filled out a survey the other day and discovered that i had moved up a box. i'm now in the 25-34 category. this, in turn, has made me think about being an adult. i think that previously i may have talked about all of my progression and subsequent regression (moving back in with mom and dad after college) in my journey to adulthood. i feel like this coming school year will be really good for me in the growing up factor. there's a lot of stuff that i think i've felt i will change once i'm in a relationship or married. i think that subconsciously i think of that (i.e. relationship martha) as what my grown up life will be. well, guess what. doesn't seem like my relationship status is changing anytime soon, so why don't i just go ahead and fix things for me? that's a novel idea.
i put in my three weeks' notice today at work. it felt WONDERFUL. what will feel 5 billion times better is writing out my letter that lists all the things that are effed up with my working environment. that one i'm saving for my last day.
i have been dreaming about school and having kiddos again NONSTOP. i cannot wait to bury myself in that job. i read some of my old blog entries from when i first started teaching and it made me laugh (and cry). i'd forgotten how frustrating the beginning of the year was, largely due to my naivete. prepare yourself for more of my emotional rants and hilarious stories come august.
the family comes this weekend and i am very excited about taking them hiking and eating and shopping and REIing. yes that is a verb in my family.
and finally the mens. never understood em, never will. such is life.
in the past 6 months or so, my maternal grandmother has changed significantly. i'd been very fortunate up until now that all four of my grandparents have been active, independent people. but grandma has been showing some signs of mental deterioration and they've been coming fast. she has a neurology appointment this month so we'll know more then. but anyway, it's been scary for a few reasons. 1. my drug-addicted uncle and his drug-addicted friend live with my grandparents. this makes me worry about grandma and grandpa's safety in that house more than ever. 2. half of my time at work is spent talking to or about the elderly. i've heard the horrible things that can happen to them, even with loving families supporting them, if they have some kind of mental breakdown. 3. i'm terrified that she will no longer be the tiny, sweet, loving woman that i know if, God forbid, she is showing signs of alzheimer's. 4. i don't want to see the same thing happen to my mother, or, and this is so selfish, myself. i just think it's such a horrible way to spend your final years. blah. isn't my eloquence amazing?
on a more random note, i filled out a survey the other day and discovered that i had moved up a box. i'm now in the 25-34 category. this, in turn, has made me think about being an adult. i think that previously i may have talked about all of my progression and subsequent regression (moving back in with mom and dad after college) in my journey to adulthood. i feel like this coming school year will be really good for me in the growing up factor. there's a lot of stuff that i think i've felt i will change once i'm in a relationship or married. i think that subconsciously i think of that (i.e. relationship martha) as what my grown up life will be. well, guess what. doesn't seem like my relationship status is changing anytime soon, so why don't i just go ahead and fix things for me? that's a novel idea.
i put in my three weeks' notice today at work. it felt WONDERFUL. what will feel 5 billion times better is writing out my letter that lists all the things that are effed up with my working environment. that one i'm saving for my last day.
i have been dreaming about school and having kiddos again NONSTOP. i cannot wait to bury myself in that job. i read some of my old blog entries from when i first started teaching and it made me laugh (and cry). i'd forgotten how frustrating the beginning of the year was, largely due to my naivete. prepare yourself for more of my emotional rants and hilarious stories come august.
the family comes this weekend and i am very excited about taking them hiking and eating and shopping and REIing. yes that is a verb in my family.
and finally the mens. never understood em, never will. such is life.
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