my lovely woman friends and i have decided that we have entered a social life slump. generally speaking, when we all go out for a night on the town, we go to the same places, drink the same things and dance to the same music. therefore we have called a moratorium on our old life. we're creating a master list of things to be done in austin and not stopping until we check them off. i have to say that i'm really super duper excited about the new life of adventure and REALLY experiencing this town. one of the most exciting developments, to me, is that we're going to make an earnest attempt to start hanging out with more men folk. it's odd to think that all the way through college i pretty much only hung out with guys. now i'm constantly surrounded by women, women i love and adore mind you, and although it is refreshing to have that group, i miss me some testosterone.
going along with the theme of out with the old, in with the new, i'm feeling like i'm in a new place spiritually and emotionally. there are some things that i have done/been doing over the past few months that have really been weighing me down and a complete source of icky feelings, to put it eloquently. tonight i went to a reconciliation service at church and made my first confession in 4 years. confession is a funny thing. i know i like it, i know i feel like 5 20-ton boulders have been lifted off of me after i actually speak those words out loud to another human being in front of God and then hear the words of forgiveness spoken. for some reason though, it's really hard to make myself go. i think that part of it is that as people we hate coming to terms with our own failures and mistakes. i always used to like to say that i have no regrets, but that's silly. there are things that i would change if i had them to do over again. things i've done and known that they were wrong while i was doing them. yes, i've learned and grown, but all the same i'd take them back if i could. and i think it's just really hard to admit that and to admit that i make huge screw ups and that i'm not always the person i'd like to be. our society is so focused on the idea that we're all wonderful and unique and that we should love ourselves to the point that we can't see our own faults. but i know i'm not perfect and that when i stop trying to make myself better or fix things that are problems in my behavior and choices, i will be in for some serious problems. i think coming to terms with that is the first step in changing and moving past it. so tonight, i feel like i've really left some baggage behind and that i can continue my life with a clean slate and an open heart. which is good, since i'm helping to lead a retreat for the youth at my church starting tomorrow.
so this past week was SXSW. for those of you that don't know, it's the time when austin is inundated with hipsters and posers and industry folk (as though we don't have enough of those already). they bask in our climate, our culture, our laid-back vibe while us working stiffs slave away in "pods." obviously i didn't partake in most of the happenings.
saturday night however, the one "industry" person i know came in town. tess's friend christian is a promoter/PR chick for a bunch of texas artists and so we tagged along with her to a derailers show at the broken spoke. i must confess, that is the one and only honky tonk i have ever felt an affinity for. anytime i walk in there i feel the need to be spun around in circles by a man in a cowboy hat. after about three hours there, we decided to head to an irish pub downtown, what with it being st. patty's day and all. we were about to pull out of the parking lot when these two long-haired california hippies came running up to tess's VW bug and asked if we could give them a ride downtown. they said they were supposed to play a show in 20 minutes and there were no cabs. i asked what band they played for and the one with red hair said lions in the streets. i believe he was typecast. see?
so we rushed them downtown and felt important and helpful being that we saved their day. of course we couldn't find parking at midnight on a saturday during southby, so we just went to magnolia and ate mud queso and bonded with the kind hippie...
then we ended up wandering over to saxon pub for the end of some other guy's set. all in all, the night just made me remember how much i love austin in all its randomness and how i am an old lady that loves her sleep.
as an aside, if you do not already live in austin: it sucks, you will hate it, do not move here. PLEASE. i beg of you.
my favorite 2.5 year old visited this weekend with my favorite mommy of a 2.5 year old. it was an amazing weekend filled with parks and walks and great weather and mexican food and good, long, loving talks. definite woman-bonding that i needed badly. however, i must say that spending 5 days with a toddler reminds me of how NOT ready i am to be a mom. someday, but definitely any day soon. anyway, pictures to share with you:
moving too fast for my photo taking skills
loooooooooooove the curls, although i'm sure she'll curse them someday.
that's how to show your teeth
i like throwing babies around...and doing somersaults in a skirt
ever have one of those days when the universe conspires to annoy the hell out of you? i always believe that happiness is a daily decision we make, and today i'll honestly say that i decided against it. tomorrow i'll hoist myself out of this drudge, but today i'm down in the pits wallowing in it.
first day back to work since thursday and so the first report was expected be a little bumpy. but by the third call or so when someone asked me if i needed a dead body to take a report, i'd had about enough. the man called and said, "my 13 year old daughter called me crying from school this morning and wants me to come pick her up." pause.....pause.....pause (that's me waiting for the part about abuse or neglect). so this man had NO information about his child being abused and got pissed at ME about it. puh-lease. normally i'll take a lot of crap off of a lot of people, but not today. do not expect me to come in and fix your custody arrangement with your ex-wife just because you hate her. what makes me so mad about it is that there are other people with valid reports on hold for 30 minutes because of people like him. %$#$#@$!
but the ultimate annoyance came from my coworkers this afternoon. somebody made the mistake of accidentally sending an email to the entire agency. we're talking all of the department of family and protective services for texas. thousands of people. obviously, we did not all need the chart outlining the employees for APS in sector 12 of region 3 or whatever. but what inevitably begins? oh none other than the never-ending chain of reply emails TO THE ENTIRE AGENCY letting us all know that they weren't supposed to be on that list. one woman sent 5 emails asking who originally sent the email and why we were getting all of the responses. answer: because people are technologically retarded in the most fundamental sense of the word. you would think after years of email systems, people would understand the difference between "reply" and "reply to the whole freakin world." but apparently not. so that lovely distraction plagued the majority of my afternoon.
finally, there was the awesome video on CNN about that teenage uncle that showed his 5 and 3 year old nephews how to smoke weed. "he was gonna do it someday anyway. but i'm really sorry for what happened. you guys are just blowing this out of proportion." can someone please tell me what is wrong with people in this world????? some days i'm so worried about our future.
it's days like today that i can sympathize with good ole britney shaving her head.
hello dears, i'm back from my trip to our nation's lovely and somewhat pretentious capitol. i'll spare you all of the details of the trip, but will say that it was half wonderful, half horrible. obviously i will omit the bad.
went to georgetown friday and discovered that it really isn't my scene. don't get me wrong, i love jcrew's clothes, i just don't want to feel like i'm in the catalogue while at a bar. this is me laughing at all of the old money:
saturday we went to my aunt's performance at the kennedy center. a midsummer night's dream is already confusing enough with words, but when you're supposed to understand the whole thing via ballet moves, well let me just say it comes across as though shakespeare was spending a whole lot of time in opium dens while writing it. but anyway, we had seats so close that you could hear the dancers breathing, so that was neat.
spent the rest of the afternoon wandering around/eating with my aunt and uncle. they've always been some of my favorite relatives, although i've recently realized how little i know about them. it was pretty nice getting to know them as an adult.
sunday we went to some of the monuments. standing in the jefferson memorial i kind of had to laugh at him. yes he was a great statesman, blah blah blah. but he owned slaves while he preached about the equality of all men (and don't even get me started on the rights of women). but, his memorial is very well done and we do all have our flaws i suppose. the lincoln memorial, on the other hand, is one of my favorite places ever. to think that such an incredibly divisive leader could accomplish such great things is inspiring to me. it's just too bad that our currently divisive leader doesn't have the same effect. standing beneath lincoln's towering monument, i was especially glad that i had re-read sarah vowell's chapter that is devoted to that wonderful president. that way, i could think about all of the exciting secrets that i knew nobody else there knew about him. for example, this giant man had a sqeaky, miniscule voice, not the thunderous boom that we imagine. also, edwin booth, the brother of john wilkes booth, saved lincoln's son from being hit by a train. neat, huh? i also couldn't help but think about the other great man that followed in lincoln's steps and made his mark in that same spot. how amazing it would have been to stand along the reflecting pool when martin luther king jr. made his historic speech and changed the world forever.
finally, i ended my trip in baltimore. i don't like to make rash judgments, but i will say that the small part of the town that i saw was pretty dumpy. no offense b-town, i'm sure you're filled with lovely residents and unique shops. maybe someday i'll go exploring there (to see poe's historical landmarks) and see the friendlier side of tracy turnblad's hometown.
in the end i think i realized a few things, some of which i'm willing to share. 1. DC is amazing because at every turn you're confronted with the rocky history of our nation. the good, the bad, the horrific, it's all there and it's made us who we are today. 2. i do not want to live so far from my family that my brother and sister's children will not know me until they are in their mid-twenties. 3. nothing makes me appreciate my beloved, amazing austin like visiting a colder, busier, more uptight city. going to HEB this morning made me happier than ever before. i love the sights, sounds and feel of this town. it just fits. 4. i miss jen. it was truly lovely talking to her and i do need to go visit her before she hightails it back to texas.
