two days down at school and i already did what a teacher is not supposed to do - broke up a fight. yesterday was fine, but i hadn't quite found my groove yet. the kids weren't bad, just talkative. today, i walked in knowing things would be different. first block = awesome. kids on task. kids learning. kids contributing. good classroom management even though i didn't have desks for three kids. second block = awesome. seating chart fixed behavior issues. kids engaged. kids learning. first half of third block = fine. two kind of mouthy kids, but nothing too bad. and then it happened...
i was helping one of my girls at her desk when i heard desks move behind me. i turned around to see two of my 12 year old boys throwing punches at each other. as i made my way to them, i was telling them to break it up and get away from each other, but they're 12 and full of hormones and adrenaline and blind to the world at that point.
now let me pause to say that just last night i was telling my dad that i never get in the middle of a fight once the kids have made physical contact. if i can get to them before that point, i'll push them apart. otherwise, we're legally not supposed to touch the kiddos because of lawsuits, etc.
HOWEVER, in the heat of the moment all i was thinking is "i want this out of my classroom five minutes ago." so, i pushed the boys apart and got in between them. the kids kept fighting AROUND me and i got punched a few times. one of my girls, who is cousins to one of the fighting boys, jumped up and tried to hold him back. i got one kid outside and asked him what in the hell happened. he told me the other kid took his pencil and said something to him. TOOK HIS F-ING PENCIL. this is the crap they're beating each other up for. we had a quick visit about how i could've helped him if he'd told me what happened, but he refused to allow me that opportunity by choosing to fight it out. then the school officer came and took the boys away. i couldn't get over how quickly it happened. normally there's the exchange of comments, which escalates to raised voices, which escalates to standing, which escalates to "what's up bitch let's go," which finally escalates to violence. this went from comments to violence in 2.4 seconds. over a pencil. wtf mate.
later i found out that one of the boys has meds for behavioral issues and hadn't taken them this morning. glad i got a heads up on that one. in the end, i had to decline filing charges against the kids for hitting me and i had to decline workman's comp for any possible injuries. personally, i think that was a bit absurd. i mean, have you seen a 7th grader lately? they're pocket-sized. the fact that i could separate them shows how little damage they could do to me without some type of weapon.
aside from that drama, it's been nice to get back to teaching. i love helping kids figure stuff out. there's a hard road ahead of me in that department because some of them write on a 1st grade level. no joke. a lot of them are english language learners and just don't have vocabulary. some of them spell on a phonetic level (wun = one). i had to HELP some of them figure out what the title of their literature book was today. the title. as in the name of the book.
what makes it worth it already are the freaking adorable little ones that smile through the entire class and seem so eager to learn. there's one kid i want to eat with a spoon because he's just so tiny and sweet. also, i had forgotten how great it feels to have kids go out of their way to say hi to you or give you a hug while they're with their friends. it tells me that at least some of them know i'm here for them and that i am dedicated to building solid foundations.
tomorrow, however, i get to tell the rest of my classes that from here on out nobody better test me or i'll have to regulate.
so the situation with my grandparents has become increasingly worse and i have no control over it. this is a huge source of frustration for me. my grandmother's health has been quickly declining and i can already see that she is no longer the woman i've known all of my life. she used to be a bubbly, cheerful ball of love. a lot of the time now, she seems confused and sad. as if that wasn't enough, grandma and grandpa's living situation has started to be frightening. my drug-addicted uncle and his drug-addicted, mentally ill friend have been continuously stealing random things in my grandparents' home to pawn - a window unit air conditioner, the lawnmower, my grandmother's silver. whatever they can use to get their next fix. last week my grandfather awoke to some man standing in his closet rummaging through their things. thankfully, there was no violent confrontation and the man only took a book of checks. of course my uncle denied any involvement, and apparently he thinks he's only related to morons. my ever-forgiving and willfully naive grandparents chose not to acknowledge my uncle's role directly, but did call my mother and say that they want to move into a retirement community in lubbock as soon as possible. this is where things get even trickier.
they have a horendous financial situation because for 30 years they have footed the bill for my uncle's multiple stints in rehab, medical bills and bail. due to their generosity, they do not have the $400 required as a downpayment for the retirement community. that sickens me. obviously my family will pay for the moving expenses, but their debt is so extensive that they will probably have to file for bankruptcy. for two people that worked so hard in serving other people, this is a crushing blow.
all i want is for my uncle to be incarcerated so that my grandparents can live out their last years in peace. sadly, he knows how to work the system and is trying to get back into rehab in order to avoid jail time for the most recent in a long line of drug related arrests. my mother has offered to the DA to testify at his upcoming trial so that he will get as much jail time as possible. it's a depressing fact, but my family no longer believes that my uncle has a chance of recovery. he will most likely die a drug addict. he will not have seen his children in years or spoken to his only brother in a decade. he has burned most of the bridges in his life and i know that his behavior is his responsibility. however, it absolutely breaks my heart to have to give up on family. it sucks that at this point we have no choice, but we simply cannot allow him to continue to ruin my grandparents' well being. i'm praying that we will have them moved to lubbock in a month and then we'll be able to focus on my grandmother's health and enjoying the little time we have left with the real her. please keep us in your prayers and thoughts.
i. love. my. school. district. i just needed to write that down so that i'll have it for later when i'm frustrated with something in the system. but right now, i am LOVING my days and my job. i'm so excited about teaching again that today i almost cried when i drove past an elementary and saw a mother walking her kindergartener to registration. he was looking at the school with such inquiry and excitement and, as corny as it sounds, it filled my heart with joy.
the past two days i've attended meaningful, practical and informative training. the new teacher academy has consisted of fabulous presenters and helpful information - two things that were missing in my previous district's professional development program. i've collected some really neat tools that may seem small but that will vastly improve the efficiency of my daily classroom routine. for example, last year i was horrible at dealing with make-up work. i had no system to keep track of what child owed me which assignment on what date. when you have 130 kids, it's a tough thing to manage. now, thanks to training, i'll have a "homework" box on my desk with a stack of notecards next to it. when a student misses class, they'll fill out a card and drop it in the box. the card will tell me what day they missed, what day they returned to my class and then i'll be able to fill out which assignments they owe and when they are due. a simple system that holds children accountable for their learning and makes my life easier at the same time! i'm hoping that through all of these new resources i'll have a new-found sense of organization in the classroom and that will somehow spill over into my personal life.
however, what i love most is the underlying philosophy of the district. everything we do is based on the assumption that achievement is effort-based instead of ability-based. to simplify it - achievement occurs because you worked hard and had the right tools, not because you were just smart or innately good at a task. too many children enter the classroom with the belief that if they have to work at something, it means they aren't as smart as other children or that they're dumb. those same children frequently choose looking lazy over looking dumb and refuse to put forth effort. saying that you failed because you didn't try is much more palatable than trying hard and failing. we've spoiled children by telling them that they are each brilliant and talented and perfect just the way they are. what we NEED to be saying to kids is that you have to really work at mastering anything and that sometimes in that process you're going to fail. we've failed to teach our kids how to deal with failure and in turn they're so frightened of the idea that they choose not to even take the chance. it's silly and it's a pattern that i, and hundreds of other teachers, am trying to break.
the biggest thing i've realized in the last few days is just how busy my life will be and how hard i will work this year. i have a lot of big plans for my classroom that will require me to be organized, accountable and uber-dedicated. tonight at mass, father joe asked us when the last time was that we made a sacrifice in order to help someone else. i can't really answer that question as of now, but get back to me in a month and hopefully i'll be able to say i've done it daily with my kiddos.
more stories from the mountains. my family has been camping in the same campground for several years now and they have never had problems with animals - until this year. just to kind of create a visual for you, i'll explain our camping set up. this year we had a group that varied from 11 to 23 people at different times and there were three campers and six tents. we generally get three campsites that are kind of in a triangle and then have a huge area in the middle where we all hang out. my dad brings his big camping kitchen table and we set up an area with tarps where we cook and eat our meals. it's a nice little set up that my grandfather and i compared to tribal living, but that's another story.
so on to the wild animals. friday night my brother drove down to the trailhead to the falls (about a mile) and saw a bear. nobody believed him, so i went to check it out and sure enough there was an adult black bear in the dumpsters. the next night at about 9 or so, my cousins and i were all sitting around playing cards when we heard four shots. it scared the crap out of everybody, but then the game warden came around and told us they'd shot the bear with rubber bullets. problem solved, right? at about 12:30, my dad heard noise out at the kitchen. assuming it was racoons, he grabbed his headlamp and a walking stick and headed over to investigate. when he was pretty close to the kitchen, he saw the bear on other side of the table pulling bins off the shelves. dad stopped. the bear stopped. they looked at each other and then the bear took off in the opposite direction. the next day, my dad said he was really glad the bear chose to run away, because he wouldn't have had a chance if it had charged him. anyway, about that time my uncle came out from his camper and they cleaned up all of the food and went back to bed. problem solved again.
about an hour later, uncle tom heard something outside the window of their pop-up camper. the bear was back. he shone his light outside the window and told the bear to go away. it did. the next morning we found my grandma's favorite backing pan mangled and punctured because she'd left cornbread in it. i found it funny that the bear didn't touch the honey that was shaped like him.
at that point, it seemed like the bears were gone for good. there was no sign of them until tuesday night. mom, aunt andrea and all of the kids were sitting around the campfire at about 9:30 when my parents' and sister's dogs started barking in their crates. the kids stood up and saw that there was a bear cub by the crates. what do my cousins and siblings do? why run straight over to the bear of course. mom and andrea immediately freaked out. luckily the mother bear had already taken off. the baby bear ran super fast and got up in a tree. then it started making hissing and growling noises at everybody. they ended up having to keep a spotlight on it for about about 2 hours until the game warden could show up and get it down. the whole time my mom was freaked out about the mother bear coming back and mauling my family.
all of the run-ins made for an exciting trip and helped me to develop a pretty solid fear of bears.
the mountains were glorious and i have several stories and tons of pictures. i'll share some things in installments so that you don't tire your little eyes out reading it all. ok really so that you won't get bored and stop reading.
as soon as i got to the mountains, i had this feeling of peace, relaxation and contentment. mostly because there are very few things that can compare to the smell of mountain rain. kat and i were excited because we were finally going to go on our first backpacking excursion. we'd been gathering supplies and talking about it for about two years, so there was a lot of build up to the main event. we visited with my uncle tom about wheeler peak because he'd done it before. he told us that it wasn't too difficult and that there were only two things to worry about: bear proofing and hypothermia. "you only have to worry about hypothermia, cause people get up there and get wet and then it gets cold fast and you die." hypothermia, check. we were already camping at 9,000 feet and it wasn't even close to cold there. besides, we had all of the necessary gear and are experienced campers. so we headed off on tuesday morning...
6AM, wake up, break camp, start the drive 7AM stop to buy a hatchett in espanola and grab an egg mcmuffin 9AM stuck at construction outside of taos 10:30AM arrive at the trailhead outside of red river 12PM lunch break - kat eats her peanut butter and honey sandwich, i opt to wait 12:30PM begins to sprinkle 12:40PM feel like a lightning rod crossing the rock slides with my camera, phone and ipod 1:30PM reach horseshoe lake, soak socks and shoes in the tall grass, become astounded by beauty 1:35PM see bear droppings and become slightly concerned at the fact that we are the only hikers on the mountain 1:40PM notice quickly approaching thunderstorm, suggest we set up camp below treeline, hike back down to the trees 1:55PM potty break 2:00PM get out tent 2:00:30PM God dumps buckets of water and hail on us, no time to change from shorts, tshirts and rain shells 2:01PM notice tent is filling with water and abandon set up 2:02PM huddle under fly with packs and tent, wait for the rain to stop 2:03PM temperature drops to 40s or less 2:??PM start feeling nauseous and put head on pack, begin shaking 3:10PM look up and ask how long we're waiting it out, thinking it could go on all night 3:11PM told my lips are blue, cannot stop shaking 3:12PM uncle tom's words "hypothermia" and "die" circling in head 3:13PM eat half of sandwich while kat packs up tent 3:15PM start back down the mountain, feeling "tipsy" 5:15PM reach the car, no longer blue 7:00PM eat pizza outback, drink beer, laugh at my fragile nature
so that was fun. if we'd done the 10 miles without packs, it would've been a breeze. however, the pack made my haunches (yes, i'm a horse) sore beyond belief for the next two days. it sucks because we never actually made it to the summit. we did see some amazing views and had a close up look at a marmott up at the lake. i can also say that never in my life have i been that close to lightning and thunder.
next year we know not to do the following: stop in espanola, pee before putting up a tent and/or not change into warmer clothes as soon as we reach treeline. it's one of those experiences that honestly was scary while i was in it, but makes for a good story and an interesting memory. the pictures have a link to my album of the trip. tons of great scenery and experiences. can't wait until next year.
