tools of procrastination part 2

Wednesday, December 29, 2004

it's picture time again


the night i got to lubbock, it started to snow at about 1:30 am.


the next morning


leave the girls alone at the bar too long...


and they start pourin crap in your purse.


ryan never lets me forget the time i baked him easter cookies and then broke up with him.





claire, david, amy


grandma and the older boy cousins.

the holidays do two things: make me temporarily want a relationship; remind me that all families are screwed up in some way. when you're little, you think that your family is like the brady bunch. then you grow up and realize that just about everyone's family is messed up in some way. thankfully being weird is normal.

Thursday, December 23, 2004

it's a fact

giving totally kicks receiving's ass.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

ruined for life

my parents, but more specifically my father, have tainted my ability to find a suitable mate. for my 22 years on earth, i have been given the most incredible example of what it means to be a father, husband and man. he's the second child of five, born in iowa, raised in oklahoma. he's worked since he was 15 and never had a glamorous job: assistant to a mechanic, engraver for a monument company, janitor, teaching assistant and finally scientist. he was a hippie in high school with long hair and mail van. in a segregated town, he drove a van full of black kids to and from school everyday. he was asked to graduate early, not because of misbehavior, but because his hair and philosophies made the administration nervous.

he married my mother when he was 19 and went on to college, finishing his undergraduate in 3.5 years with a 4.0 gpr while working 3 jobs. they moved to college station where they had my sister and i. both of my parents worked multiple jobs while pursuing graduate degrees. dad got his master's and his doctorate and then a job in lubbock.

since then, he has been a passionate researcher and a devoted family man.

he is easily the smartest man i know. math and science are like second nature to him, but he stills loves to read and wax philosophically. he is always learning something new, either through reading or travelling. the work he does helps farmers in west texas and across the world to be able to produce their crops in an efficient, cost-effective manner. his workday lasts from 6 am till 5 pm not because he has to, but because he loves what he does.

he is charitable. our home has always been centered on an appreciation of the blessing afforded us and a sense of duty to help those less fortunate. he taught me the value of volunteering. he is constantly at church teaching sunday school, serving on committees, even cutting the lawn when finances are tight. when i was in junior high and high school, we would work on habitat for humanity houses and dad reminded me why. a lot of the people we helped made decisions that we didn't necessarily agree with and that probably helped put them in their current circumstances. none of that matters, we help people because it's what Christians are called to do without judgment or expectation.

he is a man of his word. people always call on my father for help because they know he will come through. i have never doubted the lengths to which my dad would go to help me or anyone else in a time of need.

he taught me to question everything, to formulate independent beliefs and to stand up for what i know is right. he never backs down from his values and doesn't sugar coat how he feels. in recent years, he's shown me that there are times when it's best to wait to be asked your opinion - i'm still workin on that one though.

he is humble. i have never heard him boast. he's never had a flashy car or expensive clothes. he understands that his material possessions in no way determine the value of his life.

he is wonderful with children. my dad has a sincere way of talking to little kids that makes them feel important, interesting and intelligent.

he is respectful of women. forget all the shallow things we tend to think signify respect. my father will never allow his wife or daughters to be treated poorly. his behavior is consistent in the presence and absence of my mother. he's told me never to put up with crap from a guy. i've never heard him make anything close to a crude comment about a woman and can't even fathom something like that coming from his mouth.

he is funny. saracasm abounds at our dinner table. he's shown me that we really can't afford to take ourselves too seriously. oh, and he introduced me to the onion.

he is masculine. the man cannot dress himself stylishly to save his life. (thank the lord) he knows about cars, planes, plumbing, cigars, scotch, computers, carpentry, camping and fly fishing. i've seen him cry once in my life: the morning i left for college we were praying in my car and he broke down mid-sentence. he told me there would be a hole in his heart when i was gone. (i'm told he cried when he escorted my sister from the bridal room to the church for her wedding.)

he loves the outdoors. through our annual camping trips to the mountains, he's taught me to pitch a tent, build a fire, use a knife, mountain bike, keep bears away, sled, deal with bugs, camp in the snow and go without a shower for a week.

he appreciates art. opera, symphonies, ballets, museums, galleries...you name it, we've done it. music is a huge part of my life and that's largely because of my dad's eclectic taste in music. from elvis to p-funk to robert earl keen to tone loc to radiohead, he listens to it all.

he is a man of faith. almost everything i've listed can be attributed to his personal relationship with Christ. he's not in your face or stuffy about it, he just lives his beliefs.

so there's my standard. and now that i'm old enough to know i don't want to play games or settle for less than i deserve, i realize i'm screwed. stupid amazing parents.

Friday, December 17, 2004

darfur

some obscure region in sudan, so why on earth should we give a crap about what’s going on there? partly because we like to pretend to have learned from our mistakes (although we’re quickly disproving that theory), but largely because we like to tout ourselves as the defenders of freedom. the john wayne of the international community. i mean, that’s why we’re in iraq right now isn’t it?

in darfur right now, tens of thousands of people have been murder by the janjaweed. the government of sudan has been supporting them by both their lack of action to stop the janjaweed and also by, “hurling explosives as well as barrels of nails, car chassis and old appliances from planes to crush people and property.” over one million people have been forced to leave their homes and to take up residence in dingy, unsanitary refugee camps. in these camps, women and girls literally cannot go out of their huts after dark because they will almost certainly be raped.

stop and think for a second. how much do you know about this conflict? is it limited to the information i just gave you? now, how much do you hear/know about britney spears’ personal life? why does the media cover the most mundane details of celebrity life ad nauseaum but barely graze over the slaughter of thousands of innocent individuals? maybe that’s what we ask for.

there is no hope for hundreds of thousands of people unless the world community acts. the atrocities that are being committed are not part of a legitimate war; they are an act of genocide perpetrated by arab africans on black african tribes. it is our responsibility to pressure our lawmakers to act. We live in a democracy and if the people speak loudly enough, the leaders MUST listen.

please do something. if you are a person of faith, especially if you are a Christian, you have a spiritual obligation to do your part to help. if you're a decent human being, you have a moral obligation to do something. visit www.darfur.org and get involved. write a letter, make a donation, wear a wristband. we cannot afford to sit back and allow this to happen on our watch. i believe that we are too good for that.

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

The Christ-less-mas Spirit
December 14, 2004


Christmas comes but once a year, and this year it brings with it Europe's most brazen attempts to prove its multiculturalist mettle.

The most publicized secularization of the season this year may be the manger makeover unveiled at Madame Tussaud's wax museum in London. Standing in for Joseph and Mary are soccer star David Beckham and his pop-singer wife, Victoria, hardly a beatific couple.

It's also Christ-menos in Barcelona, where the city council approved a modernized crèche dreamed up by local art students. Even the baby Jesus is missing in this setup, which replaces the holy family with a businessman on a mobile phone, a delivery man with a gas bottle and a blind man -- figures the students somehow found "more emblematic" of the city known for the soaring towers of Gaudí's La Sagrada Familia cathedral.

We might chalk up these revisionist crèches to commercialism and (bad) avant-gardism if they didn't reflect a broader movement in Europe. It wasn't that long ago that Rocco Buttiglione submarined his European Commission candidacy by admitting his religious beliefs, and that filmmaker Theo Van Gogh's murder was taken as a sign that the famously tolerant Dutch must bend even further.

This philosophy is as misplaced as it is ineffectual. As Muslim attorney Waleed Aly recently wrote in the newspaper the Australian, responding to a controversy over Christmas decorations in Sydney: "Denying the Christianity in Christmas or, worse, doing away with it altogether, helps no one. This is not multiculturalism. It is anticulturalism."

Perhaps the lesson lies in a third example of multiculturalism gone wild. A teacher in Como, Italy, tried to accommodate her non-Christian students by allowing them to substitute "this is the day of virtue" for "this is the day of Jesus" in a carol. The change sparked outrage throughout the town -- except among the students, who chose simply to sing the original lyrics and move on.

Sunday, December 12, 2004

we met in first grade

she saw me lining up in the classroom across the hall. when i flipped my long hair over my shoulder, she knew she wanted to be my friend. she was there in second grade when a boy called us 'gay' for holding hands in line and i told her it wasn't bad, gay really just meant happy. i flipped out when she said 'damn it' in mrs. carlton's class in 3rd grade, but she told me she could say it cause her daddy did. we spent the summers swimming, running around the neighborhood or playing at her house on 25th street. she came to every sleep over, every birthday. we spent the entire summer before our 6th grade year riding bikes and buying kit kats and dr. pepper for breakfast at the neighborhood store.

we went to our first girl-boy parties together in junior high, although she wasn't as into the boys as i was at first. i invited her to every church lock-in and every family outing i could bring a friend to. she helped me break up with boyfriends of two weeks and passed notes in the hall. she was there when i had my first kiss and my first broken heart. she stood by me when i pushed everyone away in order to earn the affection of the crappiest guy ever. she sat on the steps of my parents' house and listened to me cry and reminded me that i deserved more than that jerk.

she was there when i experimented and got into the trouble of a lifetime. we took the car together when i was 15 and i got caught, but i made sure she didn't get in trouble. i spilled a bucket of red paint in her parents' garage and hid in her room for hours afraid to face her dad. we'd spend hours at her mother's costume shop pretending to be someone else. she made me 'martha anne's book of happiness' that instantly brightens the darkest days.

we ran long distance together and would trade off blocking the wind so the other could sprint the last straight-away to win. we went sledding at mackenzie park everytime there was a good snow and nearly froze off our fingers and toes. she came with my family to california for a family reunion and listened to great aunts and uncles ramble.

i sobbed uncontrollably the night before i left for college, dreading the moment i said goodbye to all the girls. she came by the next morning so we could wait as long as possible to do the inevitable. we shared countless emails and teary phone calls our freshman year. she gave me advice that kept me from coming home and helped me grow in ways only she had the wisdom to see back then. we went through the worst times of our lives and she showed the importance of letting go of the hurt. she knows every joy, every insecurity, every moment.

and now, she's the girl i can call when my hormones get the best of me and the dumbest thing turns me into a bumbling idiot. she doesn't judge or blow me off, she just says exactly what i need to hear. she gives me hope and she inspires me.

i hope everyone has a tess.

love me some ella

my holiday cd:
'pennies from heaven' ~ louis prima
'baby, it's cold outside' ~ ella fitzgerald
'let it snow' ~ bing crosby
'white christmas' ~ elvis presley
'santa baby' ~ earth kitt
'winter wonderland' ~ ella fitzgerald
'the christmas song' nat king cole
'sleigh ride' ella fitzgerald
'blue christmas' ~ elvis presley
'i'll be home for christmas' ~ harry conick jr.
'have yourself a merry little christmas' ~ ella fitzgerald
'it's beginning to look a lot like christmas' ~ bing crosby
'jingle bells' ~ dean martin
'mele kalikimaka' ~ bing crosby
'feliz navidad' ~ jose feliciano

Thursday, December 09, 2004

the highlight of my day....

Student Eats Roll-Call List After Cutting In Line To Get Cotton Bowl Tickets
List Eater Part 1
Carly Kennelly


Texas A&M Football Coach Dennis Franchione handed out doughnuts the morning of December 9th to students waiting in line for Cotton Bowl tickets, but one student had a hunger for something else.
A female student cut in the front of the line at ticket window 8 and literally ate the roll-call list.

Witnesses said she said the list wasn't university sanctioned and she was "right with god." Immediately, the crowd got upset and started yelling and throwing things.

"As we kept standing out there people kept yelling beat the hell out of the list-eater. As she's up there talking, people started throwing doughnuts at her," said Micah Gertson who was near the crowd at the time.

In reaction to the incident, Coach Fran said, "I had to call roll for one group last night and I guess somebody ate that list. So they're pretty competitive on it, but they've had fun."

The list-eater was sold tickets, after cutting in line. Some witnesses said, after awhile the crowd started yelling "eat your tickets."

Some students had camped out in line to get tickets as early as December 5th.

The tickets were sold out in an hour and a half.

Tuesday, December 07, 2004

a curse of mythical proportions

i am constantly writing. every day, every minute in my head. collecting stories, formulating sentences, waxing poetically. a person i pass, i song i hear, the way in which light bounces off each object in my view. in my mind they all become a glorious symphony of language. but when i try to immortalize them on paper, they become a cacophonous jumble. i wish i were a writer, i long for it actually. i read the work of others and know it's how mine should be, could be, or at least how it is in my mind. but any attempt is met with insurmountable frustration and is quickly abandoned. i guess it's my personal cassandra-esque complex.

Sunday, December 05, 2004

tis the season

to be charitable. target is no longer allowing the salvation army to have bell ringers in front of their stores. i'm passing no judgment on them for this, but i do know that the salvation army traditionally gets a LOT of money from the small change donations people drop in those buckets daily.

so i've got an online bucket through the salvation army that i'm trying to fill. the money will go to help those who are really in need this christmas. i had the opportunity to see their work up close when my youth group adopted a family one christmas. the number one thing on the kids' list was dr. pepper. when was the last time that was at the top of your christmas list? i know it's never been on mine. the family was unbelievably thankful to us and it made me realized how incredibly spoiled i am. they do good work kids, so please help out and donate a buck or two. gracias.