tools of procrastination part 2

Monday, September 24, 2007

a little of this a little of that

today i have to take time to remind myself of things. like the fact that my students are not fortunate enough to have the background that i have. and the fact that not all of them are trying to drive me to an early grave. but i swear, by the time we had a lockdown and i was having to explain to children why they needed to shut their mouths (i.e. so we didn't get shot to hell), i was about ready to strangle a child. in the figurative sense of course. i have been working 12-15 hour days and working at my school at least once a weekend since school started. i woke up this morning and thought it was thursday because i have no sense of a weekend anymore. i live, eat, breath, dream teaching and today on my way home i can honestly say that i didn't feel i loved it. i hate that because my job is my life and i love children so much more than most things in this world. but these babies, oh these babies can be tiring and trying.

last week i prevented a fight in my classroom with the help of 3 other adults, one of whom had to physically restrain a child before he rushed me from behind. i spent the rest of that day dealing with an administrator that said he wasn't going to give those boys any punishment. subsequently i told that admin that it was simply was not acceptable behavior and that he would give those boys in school suspension. i had to help in breaking up a fight after school one day and then helped prevent some apparent gang activity the next. (i guess the good part of all that is i'm learning to assert myself even better.) and on top of all that, these children spell "went" "whent" and "bears" "bers."

but then i have to remember the good stuff. there was this heart-wrenching moment with a child on friday. we were discussing the theme of a story and talking about hardships in life. he mentioned death as a hardship and then told me and his group that his mother died last year. it really did almost bring tears to my eyes. when i called him over to my desk after class, i thanked him for sharing that with me and told him to let me know if he needed anything. this sweet, sweet child said "yes ma'am" and then reached down to hug me. i love that baby. he tries really hard in my class even though he's very low academically and he is one of the most polite students i have. he is what makes teaching feel worth while.

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