disheartened

my one day trip to austin didn't quite turn out as planned. friday night was lovely - good friends, good (free) food, good music, etc. today started out really well. we found the PERFECT house and i do mean absolutely perfect. i could picture perfectly where our furniture would go, what our summer evening barbeques would look like, how the wood floors would sound in the morning and how the light would rain down on everything in that illuminating manner. but, it looks like it's taken by someone else. so that blows.


and then there was the job fair. THE school i wanted to work at didn't seem to be all that enthralled by my performance. it's so frustrating because i feel....felt that i am really good at expressing myself. perhaps i'm just not what they're looking for. i visited with several other schools and got some promises of interviews, but left without what i really wanted - a job. can't really help but feel relatively rejected at this moment and that never feels good.

i almost missed my flight due to a lack of planning on my part. and now.....i'm back in lubbock. hooray.

i guess i just wanted everything to fall in place for me this weekend. i know with all of my being that i'm meant to be austin, but i suppose it'll just take a bit more effort than i had originally planned.


sorry for the melancholy. hopefully my kiddos will cheer me up on monday.